Yesterday Jamie Vanchura wrote a wonderful blog entry for the family that she is participating in the Family Warrior Program for. The reason that she chose the Goochers is that they are adopting a girl that Jamie met and spent time with while adopting her own daughter from the same orphanage.
If you’re a lover of children you will appreciate this writing, but be captured in the beginning sentences where this could only come from a mother, perhaps only one who has given birth physically to her children.
When you read, you glean and add on to your personal experience for me, from this writing I follow in kind with the emotion of uncertainty when I head into an exam or decline to participate in fetal testing saying that I will love my child however they are.
Our medical world teaches women to fear imperfection, to be frightened of the pain of labor and delivery to accept drugs than we know little to nothing about to evade natural signals that our body gives during pregnancy and delivery. I believe in God.
In fact, my whole world from moment one has been 100% wrapped in a protective blanket of faith, and yet the medical world picks at the threads metaphorically speaking of the grace that I have been given through Christ Jesus to proceed through any circumstance with God on my side.
Imagine being a young woman in what we would call a 3rd world country, virtually alone in her time of pain with extremely minimal supplies for delivery of her child, perhaps she is even unattended.
When that baby is born with something not there or perhaps not breathing. The panic that must set upon her. If anyone comes to her attendance, the promise may be given that if she gives up the child the child will be better cared for than ever she could. She is made to sign a document that she is not read and she may or may not ever see that baby again. Some cultures teacher in deep superstition that a child born with Down Syndrome is an omen of a family’s ill fate in the afterlife, in which case they of course would want to get that child as far from them as possible. The orphanages are understaffed, ill stalked and overfilled in a number of provinces and countries all over Eastern Europe and across the world.
Children are found abandoned who have abnormalities in their health as their parents are desperate just to save their own lives in battle against hunger or other domestic circumstances. Some mothers already have children and make that heart wrenching choice to leave one behind, abandoning them at the hospital after they go in for doctors visit for testing. I have read of that in some children’s files and just want to hop on a plane and pick the child up who is worlds away. I’ve linked the image above to “Waiting Children” so that if my reader follows it they may find the categories of children who have yet to be ransomed.
This isn’t a sorrow for poor people who give up over there post. It’s a confession.
I’ve. Been. Scared. Too.
Doctors here flag me as “High Risk” before they even give me a pelvic exam. They taunt me with warnings of what anti epileptic medications could (gasp) give my child palate. Hearing the words, “is it worth your comfort over the baby’s well being” that cut at my moral core.
Each of my four pregnancies I have evened out the hurt full opinions well into the pregnancy. Then I get crazy people telling me at the birthing center that by nursing I’m continuing a drug addiction in my child’s newborn body.
My babies have all been over 6lbs, all over 35wks gestation and all under 8 hour all natural labor and delivery. Each one, two boys and two girls I breast fed until they were 12 months old and only one still needs the medication. They’re happy and as healthy as your kids. Guess what. I have a wonderful, educated nurse by my side as a husband and a mother who never stopped advocating for me since years before I was diagnosed.
My story is by God’s grace what it is. The thing is, God has ordained those other mama’s labor and deliveries also. He knows their children who are abandoned and the ones that are loved but placed in orphanages at the hands of deceitful state workers who lie to ill educated mothers. In our country we beg women who have, “unwanted pregnancies” that adoption is an option. We offer to pay for their prenatal care and housing if only they will allow their child to live and be adopted. Couples pay $35K for newborn babies right here in the USA while millions overseas die alone.
There is no justice in children being left without a voice. A child with special needs is a life too. There are horrible people and doctors who want to have mothers believe that these children are to be ashamed of. Yes, you will lead a different lifestyle than other mothers if you bring a child with extensive needs into your home. But if God give you the call, who is there to stand against that.
I had two children born in Vermont, a boy and a girl in a two year span (they are 22 months apart), then 17 months later I had another son after a move across the country in Washington. When he was 2 1/2 I have a 4th child (5th pregnancy) a daughter. Two of each. How perfect. I hate when people smile and say, “So she’s 4th and final” it’s my love for those who have stood up and said, “Yes, this child can be someone” that I have been blessed to meet here and there in my almost 30 years of life that keep me coming back to follow in families journeys to their children who are abroad. OK. It’s more than that.
It’s a deep spirituality, a sense of meaning beyond the laundry and dishes that I care about and take pleasure in knowing that some are able to act upon. Will there ever be an end to the orphan crisis? No. Well, yes, when Christ comes again at the last day. He says that for thus is the kingdom of Heaven.
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” (Luke 18:16)
The little health trouble that our family is working with right now is really pretty invisible. When people think seizure they are thinking what we call grand-mal. We are speaking for our child of absence spells and perhaps juvenile myoclonic epilepsy. Look those up if you want. This post is full of images of my kids, but I want you to look at sweet 2 1/2 year old Susie. She looks perfect, right? All there, and all. Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Susie has epilepsy, is blind, has no head control, and has significant developmental delays. She has been diagnosed with multiple malformations of the brain and a catheter and shunt have been placed to allow fluids to drain from Susie’s brain. I just realized that I mentioned Susie already in my entry about blindness. I guess she must really be on my heart. her fund has $0.00 It wouldn’t hurt for her to be on someone else’s heart too who perhaps could donate and get the ball rolling on a fund and a piece of awareness.
Tonight I’d also love to celebrate a Fully Funded and Almost there status for a family that I haven’t mentioned on here or on my Facebook before. They live in Texas and are bringing home Zach a boy who is HIV+ and have added a girl to their adoption named Pippa. The Haydon family I appreciate for their son specifically as we got his ornament for Angel Tree 2013 season. We are thrilled that this boy is going home–his mom to be is a nurse like our dad is. Pippa is a beautiful girl and her having a family is a tremendous blessing! They are both considered “older” children which lessens the likelihood of an adoption. Once again, as so many times over in the past, God shows himself to be above what look to be serious obstacles. Please visit the family’s blog here.
Editors note: All the thumbnail size photos are my children. The children in the collage are available for international adoption or already home through this means and the facilitation of Reece’s Rainbow. The little girl in this lower picture is one of them although not pictured there. Contact heather(at)hopscotchadoptions(dot)org for further information.